Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Nie Nie

I am not sure how to put a video on here so we will just have to do with the link. Please take the time to watch this. This woman is amazing and is showing the world and woman everywhere what truly is important.

 http://www.ldsmag.com/youtube/100506stephanie.html

Watch it and then come back and let me know what you think.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

After the moment comes the Joy!!!

After my son was born and moments later returned to Heaven I went through many feelings and emotions.

Devastation

Anger

Hurt

Numbness

Heartbreak

Calm

Joy

Blessed

Peace

These emotions went back and forth but luckily the last four have stayed with me through the years. When I realized that we could not stop him from coming and I prayed that Thy will be done I realized I then could not hold on to those feeling that brought my spirit pain.

It was his will not mine and that is what I asked for.

I have many times had people say "oh how devastating how do you get over that?" knowing the Plan, Knowing that my son only needed two things and I was the one blessed to give it to him.

He needed a body,though as tiny as it was 14.8 oz and 11 inches long it was all he needed to be. He needed an Eternal Family, as crazy and as imperfect as we are.

When I do have my time of sadness or thinking, "What would he be like? What things would he like? Who would he look like?" I come out knowing that I will know soon. I will hold him and kiss him and tell him I love him. And while my heart aches sometimes from sadness, most of the time it is bursting with Joy knowing that I provided a perfect,faithful spirit the opportunity to live with his Father In Heaven and one day his family.

I am in awe of the love I received from my friends and blogging friends. I wanted to let you know that while I have the moments of sadness, that in the end the Joy bursts through!!!!

Monday, May 24, 2010

I need a moment

See this little baby boy....




Sometimes out of the blue it hits me and I miss him terribly.

New name and Movie thoughts.

I was feeling like I was in the movie The Shining. I needed to get out of the house. So I text all my friends and went to the movies. We saw Letters to Juliet. I had heard it was cheesy and lame. I think those people were wrong....I loved it. It was clean and sweet and just refreshing. So that brings me to the name change.

I have been referring to my husband as The Frog Prince but as of last Thursday I am changing it to My Lorenzo. Since only two of my friends helped save me from writing redrum on the wall only they will understand the love story that that tells. When I got home I informed My Lorenzo of this change. He had no clue he wasn't known as his real name. Then I kissed him and he was o.k. with him. I even said Oh My Lorenzo before I did :)

So now on to my movie thoughts. Of course there was a trailer for The Eclipse and after I thought I was going to have to resuscitate Heather and pick her up off the floor I realized a few things. Edward seems to not be as pale and wimpy  in this one and Jacob, oh sweet and I will say it HOT Jacob doesn't seem to be as hot.  It does look like it will be the better of the 3 though.

For New Moon I watched the Midnight showing and while I enjoyed myself I wasn't all "Oh my gosh it's New Moon" I won't be in town when Eclipse comes out and since my "friends" won't wait till I return in August to watch it I will see it at a normal hour of the day in California with my Mom.

BUT, Mrs. Darcy this might be the time you want to exit my blog because I will be referring to Hunger Games :).
I will be first in line wearing a home made shirt that states " Team District 12" when The Movie Hunger Games comes out. If you want to join me then you need to read up. Except of course for said Mrs. Darcy who refuses. But who else will be with me?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ruby Lou



4 Years ago our family was saddened by a miscarriage. The frog Prince thought that adding a pet to our family would help heal our family. We wanted a little dog since we already had a boxer named Maxx (he went to live with The Frog Princes son in Or) I knew she would be named Ruby after the show Max and Ruby. She was such a sweet and calm puppy. Half the time we never knew she was around. She was a lap dog for sure. Girl#2 would carry her everywhere and Ruby would just relax and lay on her shoulder they were pals.


 2 weeks Ruby injured her back and slipped 3 disks. Surgery was recommended but not a financial option. We tried medications and she was on the mend I was amazed at how quickly she was back to normal. Unfortunatley she went running on to the couch then jumped off reinjuring herself. We tried to crate her to see if keeping her immobile would help her but it didn't work. She stopped eating and drinking and didn't want to move, she had given up.

We struggled with what we were going to have to do. This morning The Frog Prince, Girl#1 and I took Ruby to the vet she is no longer in pain. We knew this would be hard, we know we will miss her.

Girl#2 has had no reaction she is sad but I thought she would be devastated since they were so close. It is actually Girl#1 who stayed home from school and wanted to be in the room with us. Our house feels empty and of course the girls want to get another animal (No Mrs. Darcy) but we are going to give ourselves time before we make that decision.

Ruby lou will always be in our hearts, We will always love her.








Friday, May 7, 2010

Not just food supply OR man toys!!!

I had my hands full yesterday as I headed out to pick up the girls from school. I usually put my phone in my purse or a pant pocket but I had neither. So I did what any large chested women would do....I nestled my phone in my cleavage.

When I came home I couldn't find my phone, I sent a child to check the car, I searched all over. Not having a land line I couldn't call to find it and I just forgot about it.

Well wouldnt't you know couple hours later I had a vibrating (my phone is on vibrate and ring) shock of my life when someone called. I laughed so hard.

So if you ever find yourself needing an extra hand...well there you go!!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Mommy needed a Time Out!!!

Life has been a little........fazizzled (I really couldn't come up with a word so I made one up)

I felt like I was drowning in misery and despair and I am not being dramatic :)

I was hanging by a thread, a very thin thread.

I received a flyer for a Time Out For Women in Spokane Wa. I desperately wanted to go,I felt that I needed to go. I talked with The Frog Prince and after we figured out how much it would cost for ticket, gas, hotel, food and of course spending we realized it was not possible. I couldn't get it out of my mind.

I was praying nightly that I could some how go. One day I was hanging out with a friend who has moved out of town. I mentioned that I really wanted to go but that is wasn't in the budget. Well Heavenly father had heard my prayers. Sweet Susi says "there are a bunch of us from my Ward going, let me see if there is room in the car and Hotel" I knew it would work out. I talked with Frog Prince and he said we could swing it if I paid a portion of the gas and Hotel.

Susi calls me that night to tell me that there was room in the car and that someone was using their free Hotel rewards so there would be no cost for the hotel and if I didn't mind sleeping on the floor (air mattress of course)I was more than welcome to "sneak" in the room. Yay!!!

My only hesitation was leaving Girl#3, she is only 16 months old and I have never left a child that age. I will be honest Girl# 2 was 4 when I left her the first time overnight. I know I know!!!

I knew she would care less she would rather have daddy then me :( But again I KNEW I needed to go. My spirit and soul was yearning for some change.

The minute I met the women in Susi's ward I knew this would be a life changing weekend. They were beyond welcoming it was like we were all best friends FOREVER. This common bond of who we were and what we believed in was amazing.

As the first speaker came on stage and she asked us to leave everything,our worries, our pain, our concern for our children and families at the door I felt all the misery and Despair that I came with leave me. And in its place came a peace and a hope that confirmed why I was so prompted that I needed to be in Spokane that weekend.

The speakers were amazing. I laughed and I cried. I realized that I am a strong woman who can accomplish anything with my Heavenly Father and with Prayer. I was rejuvenated and I was filled with hope. That was the theme for this year...We hope all things.

As I came home knowing the entire situation that has been bringing me down has not changed, I have changed!!! I have seen what is important and what I can't change I have to accept.

I will be going next year to the one in Seattle. I know that it will be just as wonderful as this year.

As for girl#3, when Susi and I walked in the house guess who she wanted????? Yep, Susi. Brat :)