I have had the worst emotional 2 weeks IN MY LIFE!!!! I had been trying to keep my impending emotional breakdown under control. At first I tried to convince myself that is was the worst April fool’s joke imaginable then to just convince myself I was o.k. that the situation was o.k. I could ignore and hold it together.
As I walked into Sacrament meeting yesterday the Opening Prayer was being said. The words that were spoken HIT my heart and I felt the Dam start to break. I could do this I had my class to teach PLUS and extra class. I prayed I could repair the Dam while trying to keep the tears from coming and looking like a blubbering idiot where all could see. When I realized it was useless I tried to compose myself as best I could and run (o.k. I don't run but I wanted to) to my car. As I left the Chapel the Dam let loose thank heavens I got to the car without seeing anyone.
I have never been so low, so beaten and so lost. I have had a child die and this was different. Surprising? I knew with my son there was a purpose; I knew that it was temporary that we would be apart. This was a different hurt. I couldn't fix the situation, I had tried it made it worse.
As I sat in my car crying and pleading with my Heavenly Father to remove the pain to remove the situation from my memory....... peace came. I had been praying, pleading for this but when I let it all out then he gave me that peace.
The situation is still going on, the sadness is still here but I know that I have done all I can. I can't control others actions just my own. I have realized that while this has been going on I have not read my Scriptures daily and forgotten to pray fervently daily.
So while around me Satan is raging in those I love I can have the peace in my life that all will be well. He will keep me focused on what is important and letting go what I can't control.
My Frog Prince brought his hysterical wife home let me cry for hours took a very long nap and woke up realizing that through persecution I can become stronger.
I am stronger.
June is busting out all over
1 day ago
4 comments:
I'm so sorry. (((HUGS)))
You can get through this! You have a lot of people that love you!!
I don't know what the source of your problems are but if I were there I would bring you something chocolatey.
I like Rachel's idea! I also have no idea what is going on but I thought it was brave of you to even say you were a mess at church and had to leave. I'm glad you have a great hubbby to help you thru those time. I'm also glad you have a great Heavenly Father who truly understands! And there are a bunch of us crazy ladies who may not know what's going on but do understand melt downs and those uncontrollable feelings! You'll see the other side.......promise promise!
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